she was so not down for the gang bang
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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