I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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