butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
