how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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