Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
