You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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