thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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