It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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