There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
