i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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