its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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