Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
