its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
