It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
