Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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