I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
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