if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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