is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
