I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either way he was missing a nipple.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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