I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
