Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
