how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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