To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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