Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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