Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
