Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
