How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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