I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
handjob tips. give me some.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
