Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
