He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
