He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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