He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize