like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
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Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
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Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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