she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
