So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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