Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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