Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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