You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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