Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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