ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
