Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
