Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
