i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
