He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
