My cat gives me a boner
I've blown a few things in my day
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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