At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize