So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You're like the curious george of whores
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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