Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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