K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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