Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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