well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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