I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
