Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
