he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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