The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize