i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
