yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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