I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
