So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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