Please, let me fuck your mom
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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