does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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