Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
A+ Viking dick
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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